Experience 1

I often find that i end up in situations that have me reflecting for a while. So i figured rather than constantly keeping my mind on silly things i’ll blog them.

Today i was driving and got a text from a friend saying a friend of hers had died. She took it really bad so i called. Had a quick phone call and tried my best to chat and be nice and comforting. Tried being the key word. I’m not good at dealing with death myself, i avoid it and hide from it. So when i chatted to her i  didnt know what to say really.

For example i asked this evening how she was doing, and then tried to shift the subject to another question thinking that would be the best thing. Apparently not.

So anyway being the child of the internet i am, i decided to turn to google and hit up a search of what people do in these situations. Various sites said to just be supportive and let the person know you’re there.. which i did do! They also say things not to say. Of course when i look at these sites i cant help but think about how everyones so different that you cant summarise how best to deal with someone who’s struggling with a death generically?

I dont get why the internet generically groups certain emotions into e-guides… for example:

“HOW TO TELL A GIRL YOU REALLY REALLY LIKE HER”
Even if you’ve never spoken to her before in your life!!!

“HOW TO GET THAT SLUT IN THE CLUB TO COME HOME WITH YOU”

“HOW TO LET A GIRL DOWN LIGHTLY”

“HOW TO TEACH A BABY TO DRIVE A CAR”

“How to nail ANY WOMAN you want”

This is the world we live in… a world where you can genuinally need a bit of guidance, search it and have a generic thing thrown at you. The fact is this is the first time i’ve searched how best to do something as i really wanted to make sure she was ok as i worry about friends too easily. Unfortunately the internet was useless and offered me little advice.

(As an end note, changing the subject isnt always the best thing.. to do..)

How would you deal with a situation like this? Did i do things the right way?

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About Tom Burns
I'm an online blogger currently living on the South Coast of England where I study Interactive Media at university and practice as a Freelance interactive designer. In my free time I write reviews, and share my thoughts through a range of social media outlets such as Twitter, Wordpress, and YouTube, where I am an accomplished video blogger with a subscriber-base of 11,000 and over a million total video views. As you can probably gather.. much of my focus is in the realm of Social Media, an area I hope to one day end up in!

One Response to Experience 1

  1. Blue Skies says:

    There is no right way. That’s probably why you struggled to find much helpful advice. The fact is your friend is in a shitty situation and there’s nothing you can do to fix it. Everyone gets put in that position eventually and you just have to do the best you can, there is one thing you can be dead certain of… Nothing you say is going to make the situation any less horrible or awkward. Your job is not to cheer them up, it’s just to be there.

    Everybody handles grief differently… Sometimes people might need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to talk to, other times they might need someone to get angry at. Doesn’t mean they’re actually angry with you. If they need to talk you should let them, and if they need to shout you should let them do that too.

    The fact that you called back shows you care and I’m sure she’ll realise that when she’s over the worst.

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